earlier this year is started to write every day in a journal, im surprised i have kept it up so far. i thought recently it might be a good idea to write online as well, not sure if i want to fully switch since i like physical things, but i mean i practically live on here. i mean i really used to, i was kind of a hiki for four years, that was my entire high school life. anyway, im out in the world again, but the online space is much better still.
i would say i have at least slightly interesting internet lore lol, idk if i will write about it. a couple would feel nice to get off my chest (not that theyre bad things) but i also worry about saying something that identifies me. i know thatd probably never happen but i worry anyway lol.
and theres been a lot of upsetting, very upsetting things that i cant allow to happen anymore. i have to be like a soldier and march away, cause im very delicate in a lot of ways and things get to me, affect me in a very adverse manner. i dont need that, dont need that... its like, its like i feel now like minus something you know i feel faded, dont feel like im all here. and i think itll come back, i hope itll come back. theres like, theres like a lot of color missing from the way i feel and from my face and... you know just everything. theres some kind of zest or some kind of... life that seems to be faded temporarily because ive been so drained emotionally by a number of things. that has to slowly build back up and then it has to be kept sustained, it cannot be allowed to be diminished.
